I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
