ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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