I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize