Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
