Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
