Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
