what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
