She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
