YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
