From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
