is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
