A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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