your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
