I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
