she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
smell my finger.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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