This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
