she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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