Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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