The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
