How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
