It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
