4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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