So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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