Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
