wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Randomize
