i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
