they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
