The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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