I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
