I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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