But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize