Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
