Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
