Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
