white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
