Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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