My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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