and she was petting her beer can
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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