We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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