What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
