the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
