had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need to sanitize my soul.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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