Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
