wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
