I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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