It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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