I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
