He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize