But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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