the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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