butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
