Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
smell my finger.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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