they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
