it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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