I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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