Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
