oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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