thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
