your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
