she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Pooping to opera.
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